#Though on the topic of singing... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dearlenore · 4 months ago

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BED CHEM • S.REID

SUMMARY: the team is watching a video detailing Penelope’s concert experience when they notice you talking and singing about a certain boy genius on stage

PAIRING: singer!fem!reader x spencer

tags: fluff, reader is hyper feminine, reader wears revealing clothing reader wears makeup, sabrina carpenter inspired, mentions of pregnancy (Juno) dirty jokes, flustered spence for you

a/n: editor is occupied for the foreseeable future</3

w/c: 1.3k

PT2

The BAU’s conference room buzzed with quiet conversation as Penelope practically skipped to the front, eyes gleaming with excitement.

“Okay, you guys are NOT ready for this,” she squealed, dramatically spinning around to face the team. “So, picture this: I’m at the concert, having the time of my life, and then—oh, it gets better—SHE PULLS OUT MY FAVORITE OUTFIT! She hasn’t worn it in forever, but THEN—”

“Penelope,” Hotch interrupted, rubbing his temples. “A point would be helpful.”

“I am getting to the point, oh fearless leader,” she huffed before connecting her laptop to the large screen at the front of the room.

The screen flickered to life just as Spencer walked in, hair still slightly damp from a rushed morning routine, a mug of coffee in one hand and a case file in the other. He yawned, blinking sleepily.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, dropping into his chair.

“Oh, great, perfect timing, Doctor Reid, because you, my dear genius, are going to want to see this,” Penelope chirped, clicking a button.

The video loaded, showing a stage bathed in bright lights and a familiar figure at the center. The moment Spencer realized who he was looking at, his stomach tightened.

You.

The headline above the video made it even worse.

‘America’s Sweetheart Has a Boyfriend?!’

Spencer stiffened, shoulders squaring as he desperately tried to keep his expression neutral. It didn’t work.

“Ooooooh, this is gonna be good,” Emily murmured, leaning forward with a grin.

The video played. The intermission segment of your concert, where you spun a game wheel, laughing into the mic as you introduced the next topic. The wheel landed on Bed Chem. The audience erupted into cheers, but instead of launching into the song, you tilted your head, suppressing a mischievous smile.

“Okay, first of all, this is a really obscure one, hear me out,” you prefaced, placing a hand over your mouth as you laughed. The crowd quieted just enough to listen.

“You know that one FBI guy who was on the news this week? The tall one with the brown hair?”

The arena roared in agreement.

JJ turned to Spencer with wide eyes. “Oh my God.”

Spencer paled. “Oh my God.”

Morgan smirked, leaning back in his chair. “Go on, Pretty Boy, let’s hear what she has to say about you.”

On screen, you ran a hand through your hair, adjusting your sparkly red lingerie costume, the curve off your hips and thighs on full display, looking half-amused and half-mortified. “Okay, I genuinely believe—God forgive me if he’s got a girlfriend—but I could take him… Not in a fight, though. He could make me Juno.”

The crowd lost their minds. You smiled, nodding as if you were confirming an inside joke. “I mean, look at him! He’s got that whole cute, unapproachable genius thing going on, but I bet you, under all that statistical analysis, he’s really good in bed. Guys we would have the cutest babies.” You shook your head dismissively and walked towards the back of the stage, your glittery eyeshadow and gloss shining in the spotlight.

The audience howled,

The room went silent.

Then, chaos.

“OH—OH MY GOD,” Emily shrieked, slapping the table. “Reid! You have the most famous singer right now after you”

JJ was laughing behind her hand. Even Rossi looked mildly entertained.

Meanwhile, Spencer stared at the screen in pure horror. “I—what—I don’t—” He ran a hand through his hair, completely at a loss.

Penelope clutched her chest dramatically. “Spencer, how DARE you not tell us you’re a muse for America’s sweetheart?”

“She’s not—I mean, we know each other, but—” Spencer was floundering, his ears turning pink.

Emily grinned wickedly. “YOU KNOW HER? And you never told us? After all the times I paid full price for concert tickets?!”

Spencer’s face was burning. “I—”

“Hey, let’s not forget she did say she could take you,” Morgan teased, nudging his shoulder. “Not in a fight, though.”

The teasing continued, but Spencer had stopped listening. His gaze was still locked on the screen, on you—smiling, laughing, looking effortlessly radiant under the stage lights.

Hours later, the teasing hadn’t stopped.

If anything, it had only gotten worse.

Ever since Penelope’s infamous concert video, the team had been relentless. Any time Spencer so much as breathed, someone found a way to bring you up.

“Hey, Pretty Boy,” Derek grinned as Spencer entered the bullpen, holding a coffee cup. “That statistical analysis and good in bed working out for you?”

Spencer groaned. “You’re never letting that go, are you?”

“Not a chance,” Emily piped up, spinning her chair around. “I mean, America’s sweetheart just exposed her FBI crush to a stadium full of people—and we had to find out from a viral video?”

“I still don’t get why you’re all so invested,” Spencer muttered, sinking into his chair.

JJ smirked from her desk. “Oh, we’re not invested—”

“We’re just waiting for you to admit why she thinks you’re good in bed,” Emily finished, grinning.

Spencer opened his mouth, ready to argue, but a new voice interrupted.

“Guys,” Hotch sighed, stepping out of his office. “Leave Reid alone.”

Spencer exhaled, relieved—until Hotch added, “For now.”

He knew.

They all knew.

It was inevitable at this point. He couldn’t hide it anymore—not when Penelope had somehow dug up even more videos of you talking about him, not when Twitter was obsessed with connecting the dots between your song lyrics and a certain “mystery genius.”

Not when you’d literally texted him this morning:

Y/N: Babe, I’m sorry, I didn’t know they were recording the concert. I can take it back if u want😭

Spencer: That won’t be necessary.

Y/N: thank God, didnt wanna have to explain the whole “I could take him” line…

Spencer: …

Yeah. It was time.

—

Later that evening, the team sat around the round table in the conference room, finishing up paperwork from their last case.

“So, Reid,” Rossi began casually, flipping through a file. “Any fun weekend plans? Or will you be locked away with your books?”

Spencer sighed. “Actually…” He set his pen down, taking a deep breath. “I was planning to spend the weekend with my girlfriend...”

Silence.

Then—

“WHAT?”

Morgan nearly fell out of his chair. Emily’s jaw dropped. Penelope let out an actual squeal.

JJ gasped. “Wait, wait, you mean actually—”

“Yes.” Spencer sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “We’ve been dating for a while now.”

Rossi just chuckled, sipping his espresso. “Called it.”

Morgan gawked. “Hold on, hold on—you’re telling me you’ve been dating a literal pop star, and you just forgot to mention it?”

“To be fair,” Spencer muttered, “it was classified information until about a week ago when she publicly humiliated me on stage.”

Emily shook her head, still in shock. “Wait—how did this even happen?”

Spencer hesitated, then pulled out his phone, scrolling through his photos until he found one he’d taken months ago: a candid shot of you sitting on his couch, curled up in one of his sweaters, reading a book. You had a mug of tea in your hands, and the look on your face was one of pure, quiet contentment. Another displayed you at the park, feeding bunnies.

The team stared.

“She likes books,” Spencer explained simply. “I like books. It wasn’t that complicated.”

Morgan threw his hands up. “Not complicated? You’re dating America’s sweetheart—that is, by definition, complicated.”

Penelope was practically vibrating. “Oh my God, wait, is she coming here? Can she visit? Can she sign my vinyl?”

Spencer smirked slightly. “I don’t know… depends on how much more you all tease me.” He shoved his hands on his pockets.

The team erupted into protests.

“Come on, Pretty Boy, you can’t just drop a bomb like that and not deliver!”

JJ grinned. “Seriously, Spence. You have to bring her in at some point.”

Spencer shook his head, amused. “We’ll see.”

But as he looked down at his phone—where a new message from you popped up (Y/N: Tell them I say hi, genius)—he had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before you made your grand entrance.

#x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid #fanfic #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fluff #fluff

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deadsetobsessions · 1 year ago

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Danny always knew tax evasion ran in his veins. His parents hadn’t been the most… morally sound of people, and less so as ecto-scientists.

He just didn’t think their lessons would ever result in a criminal empire that spanned the entire city and then some. Danny hadn’t seen it coming. His parents definitely wouldn’t have.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Wayne. Mr. Fox.”

Danny ‘the Phantom’ Fenton sat down across from a rather tense looking (to Danny’s enhanced senses, anyways) Brucie Wayne and his right hand, Lucius Fox. He smiled pleasantly, matching Brucie’s vacant smile with that touch of Midwest suburban mother smile.

With his acquisition of multiple Gotham companies, his rather newly established Fentom Co. became one of the largest holding companies in Gotham, the first being Wayne Enterprises and the second being Drake Industries. After months of constantly working his butt off while fending off assassins, reforming Gotham’s slums and cleaning up some of the streets, and taking care of his nest of street kids, Danny garnered enough power to even stand close to Wayne Enterprises in terms of financial powers.

The topic of this meeting was, of course, the proposed merger of Wayne Enterprises’ Medical R&D division with Fentom Co.’s pharmaceutical department. Usually, Wayne Enterprises wouldn’t even consider such an offer, as their Medical R&D division was the most well funded and least likely to be part of a Rogue’s scheme- and therefore most beloved- department of the same nature in Gotham. However, Danny had something the other offers didn’t.

Blackmail.

His overly polite smile widened as Bruce’s mask twitched. His eyes slid over to Lucius Fox.

“It’s an honor to meet you, sir. I’ve heard much about your genius in… research and development.”

By that, Danny meant that he knew Lucius Fox helped develop Batman’s tech.

He did a lot of stalking that week. It felt rather… invasive, even if he did get a bunch of juicy secrets.

You know what they say: dead men tell no tales… but halfas are generally blabbermouths.

“Is that so? It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Fenton.” The man quickly glanced between the youngsters, accurately predicting that this might have something to do with Bruce’s active nightlife.

“Yes, it is such a pleasure to meet you.”

Wow, Danny didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone sound both so perky and dead inside at the same time, except for Susan at Gotham High’s bake sale.

Bruce wishes he could be a Susan. He’s at best a Becky.

“Will you be staying, Mr. Fox? You’re the head of the R&D department, correct?”

“Ah, yes-”

“Oh, Lucius! I think you had an appointment with the finance department right now! I heard Sally talk about it, you know!”

Lucius Fox sent an unreadable look at Bruce before rallying.

“Oh, it must have slipped my mind. My apologies, Mr. Fenton, it seems as though I can not skip this appointment.”

“That’s alright. I suppose it gives you… plausible deniability… should things go wrong, haha!” Danny allowed his smile to widen a little further than natural. Bruce tensed but Lucius Fox simply politely smiled and left the room.

Ignorance is bliss and all that, Danny amusedly thought.

As the door shut with a click, Bruce dropped the vacant Brucie smile and sighed.

“What do you want,” he gritted out. Danny wasn’t about to let that slide, not after he spent the better part of this month wrangling Bruce’s problem children.

“Ah, it must be because I’m from the Midwest, Brucie, but where I come from, we value these things called manners.”

You uneducated jerk, he doesn’t say.

Danny leaned back in his chair, loosening his smile into something relaxed and sharp.

“…” Oh, boy, Danny could just hear the other man’s blood pressure rising. “What is the purpose of your visit, Mr. Fenton?”

“Relax, Brucie,” Danny sing-songed in a non-relaxing way. “I’m just here to discuss a possible merger that I’m sure you’ll agree to, and give you a couple of updates on your… wayward bird.”

He heard Bruce take a slow, controlled breath. “Very well. Where. Would. You. Like. To. Start.”

Danny ignored the gritted out sentence. He passed a contract to Bruce, who took it like he was handling a live bomb.

“Here’s the proposal, Mr. Wayne. Please, look it over.”

He watched as Bruce looked over the contract with an eagle eye before lowering it, scrutinizing Danny.

“This is… very fair.”

Danny raised an eyebrow. Of course it was fair. Danny wasn’t interested in exploiting the Waynes, despite them being very able to afford it.

He’d brought fifty manufacturing sites for pharmaceuticals, and offered up a building where both companies could send their workers. He provided top notch security- that definitely didn’t have any talons on staff, what were they talking about?- that came from his own security division. Granted, most of them were reformed and trained goons, but hey, creating jobs can only help Gotham’s economy and help break the cycle of poverty, right? Guaranteed by the Wayne name and, most importantly, uncompromised medicine that was accessible to everyone would be a damn good start. He’d also have Penguin’s empire to distribute it to those who couldn’t make it to a clinic or a store, and there were plans in there to work with and establish contracts with Gotham’s welfare department. Well… once Danny finished replacing them with people who wouldn’t try to take a cut of the funds and actually cared about the people. He was thinking… the multitudes of poor grad students and parents that need income. He’s in the process of building childcare centers and…

It’s a good thing he managed to save money from the taxes (thank you, Gotham’s morally ambiguous tax experts that were in desperate need for clients! He could do it himself but having a team of accountants at the ready was seriously so helpful.) because ancients knows the government weren’t about to step into Gotham and help the people here. He needs so much money to pull all of this shit off and a lot of it has to be clean.

Danny inwardly sighed and marked another thing onto his to do list.

Make money laundering fronts.

“Of course, Mr. Wayne. You didn’t think I’d come in here demanding money, did you?”

“I considered it.”

“I am, in fact, trying to help Gotham. You might not agree with my methods, but I’d rather not damage Wayne Enterprises when it’s doing so much to help the people.”

Ugh, he was doing too much work. Danny just wanted to- hah- chill at home and read bed time stories to his kids.

Bruce Wayne, the specific blend between Brucie and Batman, regarded him silently. Danny felt like he went up a few notches in the respect ladder.

Nice.

“You’re a criminal.”

“Says the man in the bat-suit breaking into places and assaulting people.”

Bruce’s hands spasmed around the contract. Danny smiled at him, taking a sip of the coffee they’d prepared. Oo, nice!

“Ah, I heard you’re adopting- pardon, fostering- Tim Drake. Getting empty nest syndrome, Brucie?” He slipped back into using Bruce’s first name. The proposal was formal. This… was very much not.

“What about it?”

“That’s very kind of you. Speaking of which, well, of your birds, I was wondering if you remembered what I asked you to do.” Danny continued, not giving Bruce a chance to reply. “Didn’t I ask for you to keep your birds in line, Brucie?”

The CEO straightened even further, form filling out to be Batman’s imposing figure. “I did.”

“No, you didn’t. Do you know where your charge is, right now? No, not the formerly dead one,” Danny tilted his head, smile shrinking.

“Don’t you dare do anything to Tim. I swear, if you even lay a hand on a strand of his hair, I’ll-”

“Sit your Armani clad ass down, Bruce.” Danny snapped. “Your son’s in your office. I don’t harm children, and your assumptions are deeply insulting. Threaten me again, Bruce, and I’ll make sure you know exactly how much I know about your birds, your cousin, and the commissioner’s daughter.”

Bruce snarled but leashed his anger just enough to sit back down. He itched to go check on Tim, but leaving a threat like Phantom unwatched felt inherently wrong.

“Your other son,” Danny continued. “Is doing quite well. He’s learning that he has hobbies again. He’s actually working under me, you know.”

“He’s what.”

Oh, yeah, that tracks. It figured that Jason wouldn’t tell Bruce about anything. He’s still conflicted about his death. Danny got it.

“Ah, that’s precious information. You’ll have to offer something of equal value if you want to know. There is, on the other hand, a piece of information I’ll give you for free.”

Danny paused for the dramatic effect. It was lost on Bruce, the ultimate drama queen of this world.

“The League of Assassins are hanging around Hotham lately. It’s getting tedious, getting rid of them. I suggest talking to your old flame, you know, with words and what little communication skill you’ve got rattling around in your noggin to get them to pull back. Her interest is… unnaturally focused on Jason.”

Danny read the dark agreement swimming about Bruce’s face and inclined his head. “Should negotiations fail, rest assured that Jason will be protected.”

“…Thank you.”

“You are most welcome. Go ahead and discuss the contract with Mr. Fox, I am sure you’ll find little problems with it. Ah,” Danny stood up, fixing his suit jacket. “And you should probably check up on Timothy. He’s probably having a great time in your office, Mr. Wayne.”

“I’ll see you out.”

“Of course.”

Having Batman escorting him out should probably be more intimidating.

Danny stood in the elevator, waiting for Bruce’s contemplative silence to put itself into words.

Sure enough, “What… what kind of hobbies does Jason have now?”

“I’d tell you to ask him, but you two aren’t on speaking terms, are you? He likes books, of course, but recently, he’s found an interest in glass blowing. He made quite a bit of progress on his attempts at sun catchers.”

“I see.”

Well, Danny’s not about to step on that landmine any more than he has to.

——

“Danny.”

“Oh, hey, Jason. Sit down, we were about to have dinner.”

Jason clambered into the window. Danny sighed. He had a door, but by the way Jason never used it, it was like the door didn’t exist.

“Mind telling me why the old bastard showed up on my rooftops with a bunch of glass and glassblowing tools?”

Danny smiled. “No idea.”

“Uh huh.”

Danny placed a hand on his chest and put on his best woe-is-me expression. The teen’s face twitched in annoyance. “Doubt? At me? Why, I never!”

A bread roll thwacked him in the face.

#dpxdc #danny phantom #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #tim drake #dc x dp #red hood #bamf danny phantom #crime lord Danny #accidental crime lord Danny

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no-144444 · 8 months ago

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hi! i love your blog and i know this is kind of weird but just hear me out. do you remmeber the 'anything but f1' thing they did this year? what if oscar's topic was his girlfriends career and she was like a huge superstar on broadway and on the screen? and he like knew EVERYTHING and answered every question perfectly?

i hope you like this idea, if not, that's totally fine.

thank you ml xxx

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knowing me, knowing you- o.piastri

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a/n: thank you for requesting! sorry it took so long :)

summary: i suggest you look at the ask...

pairing: oscar piastri x reader

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Oscar was too warm and tired for this. He stood in front of a camera, smelling like hairspray and some sort of spray the makeup artist had put on his face, while he was asked all of the ‘Grill the Grid’ questions.

“That’s it for ‘Grill the Grid’,” she explained. “But this year we have a new segment.”

“Oh yeah?” he questioned, his interest piqued.

“Yeah, it’s called ‘Anything but F1’,” she smiled. “Your topic is Y/n Y/l/n’s career,” she chuckled.

Oscar smiled. “This is going to be easy.”

“Will she kill you if you don’t get full marks?” she laughed.

Oscar pondered. “Probably not?”

“Alright then. Ready? Pressure is on.”

He nodded.

“What was Y/l/n’s first role on Broadway?”

“Matilda,” he nodded. Y/n Y/l/n, his girlfriend, you, also an EGOT winning actor, the youngest there’s ever been.

“Correct! How old was Y/l/n when she made her Broadway debut?”

“Well, she was 8 in Matilda on the West End and did 2 years of that, so 10?” he answered.

“Correct! How old was she when she played Sally Bowles, making her the youngest to have ever played her on a Broadway stage?”

“She was 17.”

“Correct! How old was she when she got her first Tony?”

“11 years old.”

“Correct!” she smiled. “What Disney princess did she play?”

“Huh?” he questioned, not knowing that you’d voiced a disney princess. “She’s voiced a Disney princess?”

She nodded.

“In a Disney film?”

She nodded again. “Think about it.”

“Does she sing in it?”

“The princess does sing,” she explained. “But Y/l/n did also write a song for it.”

Oscar was stumped. “Can I come back to it?”

“Sure,” she shrugged, moving on to the next one. “What was her first feature film?”

“Lés Mis,” he answered. “She played Cosette.”

“Correct! What happened at the 2013 oscars?”

Oscar chuckled. “I think Jennifer Lawrence fell over and took Y/n with her?”

“Correct! What is her most streamed song?”

“Does this include recordings she was a part of or just her solo career or the band too?”

“One of those is fine, but if you can give me an answer for all though, we’ll give you an extra point.”

“So,” he started explaining. “Y/n’s most streamed solo single is probably American Teenager, her most streamed band single is probably BABY SAID, and her most streamed cast recording was probably Wicked, or Hadestown.”

“Correct, and it is Wicked.”

As he explained his answers, his trainer and others in the room started to laugh. He knew everything about you. He was so down-bad it was almost embarrassing, but they understood it anyway. You’d been together since you were 14, you were 23 now. You get to know a lot about a person in 9 years, especially from teenage years to being a young adult.

“What record did she break by winning an Oscar in 2018?”

Oscar smirked and winked at the camera. “She’s the youngest person ever to gain an EGOT.”

“What school did she teach at in her early years?”

Oscar raised an eyebrow. “How old was she?”

“Ages 8-12, she taught here on and off, and not many people know about it since she didn’t go into that field of the arts.”

He groaned, trying desperately to think. “The Royal Ballet in London!” He exclaimed, finally remembering.

“Correct! Next question, how many Tony awards does she have?”

“Oh shit they’re on the mantel at home…” he muttered to himself, trying to count them in his head. “5?”

“Correct. Who has more trophies?”

Oscar chuckled. “I have more trophies, but she has more awards.”

“Alright, how many Emmys does she have?”

“1, which she won this year for her role in the Bear.”

“Correct, how many Broadway or West End shows has she been a part of? You get a bonus point for naming them all.”

“Oh alright, so Matilda, Annie, Into the Woods, Hamilton, Heathers, Spring Awakening, Mamma Mia!, Moulin Rouge!, Cabaret, Six, Parade, Hadestown, Chicago, Wicked, and right now she’s doing Lés Miserables for the first time on a stage,” he explained. “So that was… 15?”

“Just one more?” she hinted.

Oscar’s face fell. “What? What else has she done?” he asked out loud. “I said Wicked?”

She nodded.

“Did I say Mamma Mia!?”

She nodded.

“Did I say Phantom of the Opera?”

“No, you didn't! Congratulations, bonus point awarded. What has she said is her dream role?”

He took a deep breath. “It’s going to be really bad if I get this wrong, isn’t it? Alright, so, she has always wanted to play Ms. Honey in Matilda,” he watched as the interviewer shook her head. “Shit, alright. Any hints?”

“She said it would be the only way to get her back into a specific show,” she hinted.

“Oh! Emcee!” he cheered. “God, how could I forget that?”

“Well done! Alright, one final question, what song did she sing at the 2023 grammy awards, where she debuted her first single after ‘LISTEN’, her band, went on hiatus?”

He smirked. He was there for that performance. He was sitting in the crowd as you sang. He got to take you home and congratulate you. He got to be the proud boyfriend all night. He loved it. It was one of his most fond memories. “She sang ‘That’s So True’. I was there.”

“The infamous kiss picture,” she winked at him. He nodded, a smug smile on his face. “So, going back to the other question, what Disney princess did Y/l/n play?”

“Oh shit yeah, it was animated, yeah?”

“Not necessarily,” she hinted.

“Ariel!” he exclaimed. “Ariel, of course!”

She chuckled. “Congratulations, you know the most about Y/n Y/l/n’s career out of anyone I’ve ever met.”

“One would hope,” he chuckled.

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

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astrolook · 2 months ago

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🔬HOUSE PLACEMENTS IN SIGNS OBSERVATIONS 🔬

Note : These are all my personal observations and patterns I've seen over the years and based on western astrology. Take what resonates and leave the rest. One placement isn't enough to predict and should look at the whole chart to analyze what's in there. Lemme know in the comments whether it hits home or not!

1st house placements in fire signs loves the spotlight or at least love taking selfies and posting it on social media. If in earth signs, looks in the mirror frequently to make sure they look good when crying and takes mirror selfies. If in air signs, their style changes everyday and in some cases, loves to color their hair especially if they have moon in 7th, 9th or 11th houses. If in water signs, has this " cry now, think later" energy or " I'm fine" energy even if they're not.

2nd house placements in fire signs are prone to impulsive buys and spend recklessly. If in earth signs, affordable shopping or hoard things like there's no tmrw. If in water signs, holds onto things and get emotionally attached to stuffs like that's my grandma's watch or this recipe is from my great grandma from world war 2. If in air signs, cheap buys and looks for discounts, thrift stores, spends too much on something and then live on pennies for the next whole month.

3rd house placements if in fire signs, can jump to conclusions or interrupt without realizing it. If in earth signs, waits for their turn to speak which never comes if in retrograde motion, could be too blunt and brutal with their words and insult you wrapped up as a compliment. If in air signs, convos are all over the place and ends Convo abruptly and moves on to next and struggle with articulating words if in retrograde as mind processes 120 words and in 5 topics at once, they end up with speaking 20 words. If in water signs, overshares and take things personally even when others meant in a general way.

4th house placements if in fire signs, stubs their toe constantly or just prone to little/major accidents at home. If in earth signs, black sheep of the family, might seem too distant or emotionally closed off, selective affection. Constipated at times. If in water signs, can't let go of toxic people around them and pretends they're happy even though they're not. If in air signs, selective communication, gossips within family, argues sometimes and reconcile with the other person like nothing happened. Also forget things quickly like where is my key?

5th house placements if in fire signs, defensive and loves riding a bike to watch the sunrise or such. Short-tempered and into games. If in earth signs, stingy when it comes to spend for others they don't wanna spend money on. Classic "I have nothing to wear" energy. Loves desserts and likes to try new restaurants/dishes. If in air signs, smart and would navigate their way out of trouble. Doesn't like relatives showing up. Watches bad movies knowing it's bad like The Room or Neil Breen movies. The kind to spread a rumor for fun. If in water signs, never asks their crush out and daydreams about their crush like having kids and dying of old age together. Bathroom/Kitchen singer like sings while doing household chores. OCD in some cases.

6th house placements if in fire signs, watches at least 5 shorts/reels a day. Doomscrolls their feed. Watches cooking tutorial or natural skin care remedies. If in earth signs, has a schedule for when to clean and when to run errands and expects their kids to follow/help. Learns new hobbies later in life like in their 40's. Prefers a clean kitchen. If in water signs, breaks things accidentally and spills coffee or other drinks often. Religiously drinks coffee or at least into green tea and such. Into collecting things they like such as pokemon cards, art collections and such. If in air signs, they are their worst enemy and comes up with worst scenarios in their head which never happens in reality. Talks and smiles to self like if someone seen them smiling, talking to themselves, would be seen as a crazy or a weirdo. Inner voice is their best friend. Unemployed/underpaid in some cases.

7th house placements if in fire signs, has this "world is your oyster" vibe and grass is always greener on the other side for them. Has Plan B. If in earth signs, multitaskers. When comes to love, juggles between two people and also loves architectural designs like interior designs and all(eg: Pinterest and Zillow). If in water signs, never satisfied with things or people. Either a drunk or the sober friend. Also a hopeless romantic. If in air signs, struggles with decision making. Migraines and hate loud noises or loud people. If single, in a relationship with their bed.

8th house placements if in fire signs, sexual tension or sexual conquest. Loves the chase and an ego boost and defensive in relationships. One-night stands/flings. If in earth signs, picky with whom they let in. Asexual in rare cases. Transactional relationships or relationships based on sex rather than any real love in some cases. If in water signs, one-sided sexual attraction, BDSM and such. Fantasizes about their interest sexually and watches p*rn to get off. If in air signs, into hard-core p*rn fantasies, abused/cheated on in relationships, sex when travelling, aquaphobia if moon is placed, quickly jumps from one interest to another. LGBTQIA+ in some cases.

9th house placements if in fire signs, smells BS from a mile away. Likes k-pop or other culture movies/songs than their own. Would leave everything behind to pursue their passion and start from scratch. Into animal rescues and like action movies. If in air signs, prefers an apartment/penthouse/condo than a home in the suburbs. Loves to attend concerts, rallies, festival events and all. Not a homebody or gets depressed if stayed home for longer periods of time. Likes stand-up comedy. Watches true crime. If in water signs, loves to travel via water or at least swim in lakes or rivers in the weekend. Fishing/sea food in some cases. Potential to become a chef/ just food business or simply eat at buffets. If in earth signs, watches home building tutorials/DIY construction kits. Loves snow/rain. Spends at least an hour/day on shopping apps or might even sell stuffs online. Could be into vintage/futuristic fashion and buys gadgets/antiques. Into old model cars/scifi cars in some cases.

10th house placements if in fire signs, have a start-up founder like passion and energy. Moves away for career. Has Plan B,C,D like an accountant in the morning and comedian in the evening. Career change might happen later in life to follow passion. If in earth signs, two or more sources of income is possible. Strategist and an "insider". Knows things most of us don't have access to or not known by public. Sometimes becomes a stay-at-home parent after kids enter the picture and willingly takes a backseat in their career. If in water signs, values connections which sometimes gets romantic. Co-workers/colleagues are like family. Fakes their smile or acts friendly to people they don't like but do so to avoid being called rude. If in air signs, trusts people blindly sometimes, gets betrayed by people they knew well, unemployed/underpaid in some cases.

11th house placements if in fire signs, debates in the comment section, struggles to stand out from crowd/find their community or niche, feels lonely even when surrounded by people. One man army. If in earth signs, feels too old for trends like a grandma/grandpa to tech or live in the 2050s. Struggles to be heard in groups or spends time and money on people as what others think of them matters. If in water signs, talks to strangers online looking for love and connection. Long-distance relationships which might or might not develop further. Spends on celebrity products/merch in some cases. If in air signs, send pics to strangers online or an active OF account in some cases. Could get blackmailed/hacked in some cases. Probably has a troll account.

12th house placements if in fire signs, feels like the side character in their own life. Fire on the inside, calm and composed on the outside. If they do succeed in life, people around them won't even believe they can do great things. Hides their true self. If in earth signs, clean and tidy when happy, poor hygiene and unkempt hair/nails if depressed. Skin and food allergies. Body image issues/self-harm tendencies. If in water signs, falls for unavailable people, hypochondriacs, diabetes/blood pressure issues later in life in some cases. Dehydration/over-indulgence. Cries under the sheets or in the shower. If in air signs, might develop su*cidal thoughts/self-destructive tendencies, stalk exes online or gets stalked. Hides their true opinion on things and says what's acceptable in the society. Writes under a pen name. When 12th house placements move far away from native, they usually get seen/recognized by people there and loved more.

Wanna go deeper into the layers of your placements? DM me for a complete astrology reading or a 5 year/8 year marriage report🌙💬 and check out my pinned post for pricing + details 💫💸

Let’s decode your cosmic chaos together ⭐

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lemonlover1110 · 29 days ago

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𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫

Zayne

Pairing: Zayne x f!Reader

Summary: Date nights are hard to come by lately, which is why you try to make the moment last a little longer.

Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! Smut, Vaginal Sex, Car Sex, Creampie

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi - Bluesky

You blast some of your favorite songs, loudly singing along as Zayne drives back home. His hand rests on your thigh, smiling as he hears your voice. You’re tone deaf, but it’s the sweetest melody he’s ever heard. His ears do need a break after a couple of minutes, he won’t lie, that’s why he sneakily turns the radio up. It’s a good thing you don’t notice.

Zayne chuckles, stealing a couple of glances at you whenever he gets the chance. It’s fair to say that date night was successful. After months of not getting time alone with you, he finally got a couple of hours with you. Complete peace and quiet. No kids.

“You surely love this song, huh?” Zayne comments as you sing your heart out. There’s no answer, but he doesn’t need one. You replay the song, singing even louder than before and Zayne laughs yet again. No matter how many years pass by, things still feel the same. The spark is still there, and it always will be.

“Thank you for tonight.” You end up turning down the radio, planning to enjoy the last few moments with your husband before getting home. Once you enter the door to your house, you’re mom and dad again.

“I should say that to you.” He responds, squeezing your thigh. “Did you enjoy your meal?”

“It was so good, we should go there again!” You answer with the brightest smile on your face. He cherishes it, never getting tired of the sight. There’s many days that only the thought of your smile is what keeps him going.

“We’ll go back soon, we’ll just have to convince my parents to babysit again.” Zayne replies, and you hum in response. It’s such a shame that your date is over so soon because he had so much more in mind. Sadly, if he wants his parents to babysit again, it’s in his best interest to get home now.

“Hopefully the damage tonight wasn’t too bad.” You comment before following up with, “I don’t know where they get their behavior from. You’ve always been so calm and–”

“And I didn’t procreate alone.” He cuts you off, earning a glare from you.

“Are you saying they get their hectic behavior from me?” You dramatically gasp, and while it’s the perfect time to pull on his ear and playfully scold him, you don’t want to distract him while he drives.

“I’m just pointing out they don’t get it from me.” He says, and you click your tongue.

“I was a very calm child, for your information.” You argue, though it isn’t easy for him to buy. They had to get it from someone. “Maybe genetics skipped a generation.”

“Perhaps.” He answers, deciding not to play it cold. Yes, it’s best to be safe right now. “No point in finding the source. They’re still lovely.”

“Lovely is one way to put it. But you’re right, no point in finding the source because it’s not like we can send them back.” You joke, earning a laugh from the man. Zayne wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, even if the hospital seems like a place of rest nowadays.

“Next date we should go to a movie. I know there’s one in theaters you’d love!” You change the topic as you near home. He asks a couple more questions about it, before you finally get home.

You sit in silence for a minute, not ready for the date to be over just yet. It’s late, the kids are surely sleeping, but the ambiance changes the moment you step inside. The date will be over, and while you had fun, it was too quick. You wish you had the chance to do something more… Something else.

You exchange a look, smiling to comfort each other. You don’t have to say anything else.

“Gimme a kiss.” You tell him, leaning in. Zayne meets you halfway, pecking your lips. You cup his face, kissing him with the passion you expected. Zayne kisses you back with the same passion.

This is why Zayne’s kiss was quick– He knew that you’d quickly lose control if he had given you more. What happens if a neighbor walks by and sees as you get on top of Zayne? Or as you recline Zayne’s seat to make this more comfortable?

“We have a bed inside.” He reminds you as you kiss his neck, fingers hurriedly unbuttoning his shirt. His fingers trail up your thighs, going under your dress, contradicting his own words.

“Just five minutes.” You mutter as you unbuckle his belt.

“Five minutes?” He almost sounds offended, but the hurt quickly fades when you begin to grind on him. Yeah, five minutes is more than enough. Zayne pulls your dress up, hands caressing your upper thigh.

“I should leave you high and dry for telling me we have a bed.” You chuckle before your lips land on his again. Zayne’s hand pushes your panties to the side, fingers running through your folds.

“You wouldn’t stand it.” He tells you when you pull away, noting just how wet you are. So wet from nothing… Or maybe you’ve been thinking about him for a while.

“Yeah, just put it in.” You cover his mouth, hiding the smile that’s surely on his face at this point. He runs the tip through your folds, slowly pushing himself inside you. A breathy moan leaves your lips, feeling as Zayne’s cock fills you up.

“Zayne–” You moan, slowly moving on his cock. You’re doing all the work, a task that’ll tire you out quickly. You take your hand off his mouth, holding onto his shoulders as you move back and forth.

“Don’t be too loud. Don’t draw attention to yourself.” He instructs you, hand going down to play with your clit. Eyes watch your every move. Watching as your face contorts with pleasure with every movement, your mouth agape as you moan.

Zayne bites down his lip, knowing that your moans are more than enough to draw attention to yourself. He likes to take precaution, even if it’s too late for anyone to walk by. Zayne takes control, setting a pace much faster than the one you had.

“It’s too much, Zayne.” You breathlessly say, feeling as your orgasm slowly builds up and consumes you. He just knows you’re making a mess all over him– He’ll have to go upstairs quickly and ashamed, but right now he’s too lost in the moment to care.

“You’re doing a good job, baby. You can take it.” He assures you, thrusts slowly picking up more speed. “Nice job, love.”

He kisses you again, drowning out the loud moans that are followed by your orgasm. You bite down his lip, overwhelmed by the feeling.

Zayne slowly loses that control he overtook. His thrusts slowly get sloppy while his breath gets caught up in his chest. It slowly becomes too much for him to handle. You feel so perfect around him, it’s hard for him to keep his composure.

You swear you hear a curse underneath his breath as he empties himself inside of you. You’re both panting, looking into each other's eyes. You’re still for minutes on end, unwilling to go back inside just yet.

When Zayne finally pulls out, he quickly fixes your panties, not wanting the mess to drip down all over him. You help him fix himself, slowly buttoning his shirt, stealing a couple of kisses with every other button.

“You’ve been taking your birth control, right?” He asks, and you hum in response. He kisses your forehead before opening the door. “Time to face my parents.”

“You got that covered, right?” You smile, kissing the tip of his nose before getting out of the car. Before he can answer, you’re walking away. Zayne clicks his tongue before chuckling. At least date night was successful.

#dividers by cafekitsune #zayne lads #lads zayne x reader #lads x reader #love and deepspace zayne #zayne love and deepspace #love and deepspace #zayne fluff #zayne smut #zayne x reader #zayne fic #lads zayne #lnds zayne #l&ds zayne #zayne x you #zayne l&ds

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branwinged · 4 months ago

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i say this as a catelyn enjoyer, catelyn's hatred of jon is not particularly rational in the sense that it doesn't hinge on jon's own personal character. like some of it is borne out of wider prejudice regarding bastards (socially stigmatised as treacherous and grasping of their trueborn siblings' rights) of course, but the thing that hurts her most is what jon's presence in the household symbolically represents. and it's not the infidelity, it's the perpetual reminder of the disenfranchised position of women in their society and how little agency she truly has in her marriage and in the wider social sphere. the thing about catelyn's character is that she might be the conforming lady archetype, but she's also written to be very much aware of how disadvantaged women are in westeros.

"I might have been able to trade the Kingslayer for Father, but . . ." ". . . but not for the girls?" Her voice was icy quiet. "Girls are not important enough, are they?" Catelyn I, ACOK Is this my punishment for opposing him about Jon Snow? Or for being a woman, and worse, a mother? Catelyn V, ASOS “Father,” she said, “Father, I know what you did.” She was no longer an innocent bride with a head full of dreams. She was a widow, a traitor, a grieving mother, and wise, wise in the ways of the world. “You made him take her,” she whispered. “Lysa was the price Jon Arryn had to pay for the swords and spears of House Tully.” Catelyn I, ASOS Brienne looked at her with those blue and beautiful eyes. “As ladies die in childbed. No one sings songs about them.” “Children are a battle of a different sort.” Catelyn started across the yard. “A battle without banners or warhorns, but no less fierce. Catelyn VI, ACOK

^ these are not the words of someone who's content with her lot in life or has made perfect peace with the rules of westeros's feudal patriarchy. brienne and catelyn are both acknowledging the thankless role women are made to play. "no longer an innocent bride" / "wise in the ways of the world" has a certain misery to it, considering the topic at hand is hoster's abominable treatment of lysa for transgressing social norms. even a sentiment such as - "Pity filled Catelyn's heart. Is there any creature on earth as unfortunate as an ugly woman?", is not coming from a place of scorn or thoughtlessness, but from knowing too well how cruelly their world treats women, how brienne's appearance would affect her marriage prospects.

“Our duty.” Catelyn’s face was drawn as she started across the yard. I have always done my duty, she thought. [...] I gave Brandon my favor to wear, and never comforted Petyr once after he was wounded, nor bid him farewell when Father sent him off. And when Brandon was murdered and Father told me I must wed his brother, I did so gladly, though I never saw Ned’s face until our wedding day. I gave my maidenhood to this solemn stranger and sent him off to his war and his king and the woman who bore him his bastard, because I always did my duty. Catelyn VI, ACOK

there's such clear resignation here, this is not how you talk if you're proud to have done your duty, if you feel you were actually rewarded for having done it. and duty here means meeting the unforgiving expectations of westeros's feudal patriarchy. if sansa's chapters are about growing out of that conditioning by realising that there is no reward to be found here, then catelyn's chapters are about showing the personal cost of having lived your entire life internalising those ideals. her house words being 'family, duty, honor' is a very deliberate character choice.

so it's not just that ned cheated on her, but that he unanimously made the decision to install jon at their home and catelyn's feelings were allowed no say in the matter, that it happened even before she was able to step foot in winterfell with robb is another blow. she had just been exchanged as goods from one (dead) brother to another and she was supposed to be okay with all this, like the most natural thing in the world because her house words were drilled into her since childhood. but we know she wasn't. she stamped down that resentment out of duty, because he's her lord husband and she was to obey him, but that pain and the alienation for having done her duty was going somewhere. openly resenting her husband or her father is not a socially allowed option, so all that resentment gets unfairly taken out on jon, someone she has authority over. and i think identifying the major cause of that hatred as her frustrations with westoros's patriarchal ideals is important because that means knowing the truth of jon's parentage wouldn't have changed anything. that ned kept such a thing from her and again, unanimously made the decision to commit treason without consulting catelyn, is once again simply telling her that she has no control in this marriage, that her judgement is both unasked for and not valued.

#catelyn stark #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf #*[🫀]

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madelynraemunson · 4 months ago

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Valentine’s Day is coming up and I can’t help but wonder how ex!husband Eddie would handle it. Would he break my heart? Break my back? Please Maddy I NEED to know 🙏

a/n: HE’S BACKKKK i’m clutching my chest 🫶🏼 how about some wholesome heartbreak for valentine's day? i tried to incorporate aspects of the original ST universe into the universe that is ex-husband!eddie. i hope you sweethearts enjoy ♥️

“valentimes” day

ex-husband!eddie x ex-wife!reader

summary: you and eddie share a dance when your wedding song unexpectedly comes on the radio…just like old times :)

contains: fluff, mutual-pining, topic of divorce, co-parenting

“if you’re lost, you can look and you will find me — time after time.”

divider from: @strangergraphics

word count: 1.4k words

‘Valentimes’ Day.

It’s what Junior likes to call it. At first you tried to correct him, telling him to drop the M and replace with N, but you decided to partake in the innocence. After all, nothing lasts forever.

Like the muddy footprints on the light wooden floors.

"I'M RIGHT ON YOUR TAIL!" Junior roars, chasing after his siblings with candied pretzels in his mouth. "GET READY TO FEEEEEL... MYYYYY... WRAAAAATH!"

You know what does seem to last forever though? The sugar high your kids are getting from their Valentine's Day candies.

“Walk, kiddos,” you scorn. “If we’re gonna get ourselves dirty, please take it outside.”

You watch as your Mini-We's respectfully pile out the door, marching in a single-filed line in their crowns and capes their dad had made for them not too long ago. And as you continue to cook, a hearty stew for a heart-filled day, you hear a jangling of keys at your front door.

The only other person who has direct access to your house is Eddie; and assuming he's adhering to the family tradition, you expected no one else.

A familiar sing-song whistle sounds from the entryway as Eddie makes his grand entrance. You smile as your ex-husband comes into sight — hands full with presents you couldn't quite make out yet — ready to greet you how he usually does every Feb 14th for the past few years.

“Yo.”

“Hello, hello!” you chime. “Look who’s become a one-tripper.”

“I know, I’m gettin’ better and stronger by the day,” Eddie chuckles. He closes up the space, welcoming you in his bubble with a hug and offerings for the day. “Flowers... for you…"

You blush in flattery, welcoming the Thanks-For-Having-My-Kids floral arrangement into your arms.

"Aaand chocolate," Eddie adds. "obviously.”

“Ooh, nougat."

“Uh huh," he smirks, proudly. "Everyone loves a nougat moment. I also got these teddy bears with wicked Rock-N-Roll soundboxes for the kiddos. Left them on your couch though. It's a surprise."

Eddie's always been such a stellar dad. No matter the occasion, he always made sure the kids felt included, and always made sure you felt appreciated for all your efforts. He shows out every Valentine's Day, and Mother's Day too. Just because you two have separated doesn't mean your past has been erased. Eddie wants you to know that this commitment is for a lifetime, no matter what it may look like to others.

"Thank you."

You walk over to the island to set your gifts down, then gesture for your ex-hubby to sit so you two can engage in some small talk.

Also, 'cause you’re nosy.

“Any plans tonight?”

“Eh, it was just to drop these off,” Eddie shrugs. “Might go to the bar later with some old high school friends. Try to talk up some ladies...”

“Groovy,” you smirk, eyebrows dancing.

“What about you?” Eddie inquires.

“Mama’s having a night in,” you sigh, taking a bite of some nougat. “Gonna pour myself a glass of wine and read a spicy novel before bed.”

“Mm,” Eddie hums. He crosses his arms, leaning forward to meet your gaze. “The one about the long-haired-adonis-with-steel-pecs-and-a-popped-linen-collar who comes to save the day?”

You cock an eyebrow. “You snooping through my book pile, Fabio?”

“No, you’re just predictable,” he teases.

♡

Your kids remain occupied, playing "beach" in the sandlot, away from the intimacy of the two of you.

Junior is using his disposable camera to take pictures of birds. Beside him, Elijah is digging a hole of sorts, and your daughter Aubrey is off in the corner, making faint heart-shaped etchings in what's left of the sand.

She sighs in dismay.

“I like candy and balloons, but this holiday makes me sad,” Aubrey frowns. “I used to be happy when Mom and Dad were together.”

“But they weren’t happy,” Elijah points out. “Now they are. It’s better this way, Aubs.”

“I wish there was a middle for everyone, though,” Junior says. “Like a halfway-happy.”

♡

Back in the kitchen, you and Eddie continue to catch up. You talk about the kids and how school and clubs are going. Elijah has a crush on a girl in his PE group. Aubrey wants to do cheer. Junior wants to perform in the talent show, but he's having trouble rallying some friends.

And you... well, you were burning through your book piles and watching grandiose Hollywood dating shows, sometimes also dancing around the kitchen to whatever Grocery Store-esque song comes on the radio.

"Can't believe you still have this thing," Eddie tsks, taking the rusty vintage boombox in his hand.

"It still plays the good tunes though," you shrug. "Why would I retire it now?"

Eddie shrugs in agreement, putting the boombox back where he got it. The song currently playing soon fades into the background while the radio host's voice comes back into focus.

"Another great hit from KISS!" the host announces. "I hope everyone is having a beautiful V-Day so far. We're gonna slow it down for you, Hawkins! Here's some Cyndi Lauper for ya — this is Benny and you're listening to WSQK Radio."

A nostalgic tune fills the air, the melodic, dreamy atmosphere reminiscent of a much simpler time.

You and Eddie look at each other in shock, hold the gaze for a few seconds, and burst out laughing.

<< Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you >>

"Of course," you shake your head.

"What are the odds?" Eddie blushes, lightly punching the island with his fist to ease the tension. "Our first dance song."

It was a beautiful ceremony, your wedding. Wayne had too much to drink and was waddling around giving everyone hugs. The "kids" you grew up watching took a dramatic plunge into Lover's Lake at the end of the night. And during the dance, it was if, only for a moment, you and Eddie were the only ones on the dance floor, redefining the fabric of time because while it felt like an eternity, it seemed to have passed by in a second.

<< Flashback, warm nights, almost left behind >>

Time is a thief. That was nearly a decade ago.

"C'mon," Eddie encourages, grabbing your hand.

You're instantly launched back to present day. "What?"

"We're doin' it."

"Doing what?"

"Dancing."

You allow Eddie to take the lead, just how he always does when you two would embark on adventures. He whisks you away from the island and towards the dinner table for enough space to move.

"Eddie..." you stumble into him, chuckling nervously. "Really?"

"I mean..." he says, his chocolate eyes a-gleam. "Why not? For old times sake. While the song is on... while the kids are busy..."

His hands seek your hips and find them immediately. Your breath hitches as you take in the glory of him, his timeless face, and the aroma of petroleum from his day job. He's still the same Eddie. His love is pure energy. Never destroyed, just simply transformed. And you can't wait to explore more of this new form of love.

"I'd love to."

You two begin to sway, the essence of your wedding night illuminating through the dimming kitchen. Eddie smiles into you, his forehead nestled against yours, a strand of his wavy hair tickling your eyelashes that sit prettily against your lids.

<< If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time >>

Before you know it, the late winter sunset melts into nightfall and your kids, with chattering teeth, begin to pile back inside.

"Brother! Help me with my shoes!" pleads Junior.

"Please," Elijah reinforces.

"Please."

Suddenly, Aubrey gasps.

"Look!" she whispers to her brothers, pointing with an excited finger. "Mom and Dad!"

<< If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting Time after time >>

"So beautiful," Eddie murmurs into you as you two sway in each other's arms. "You always have been...so damn beautiful."

The warmth was like Christmas morning... a belated gift for the kids to watch two homes become one, for just a brief moment. You and Eddie are too busy wrapped up in one another to notice the biggest smiles on your children’s faces, hope flickering in their eyes as if their worlds were right-side up again.

“Halfway-happy,” Junior whispers breathlessly.

It was their (and your guys’ too, let’s be for real) happiest “Valentimes” Day in a while.

tag list 🏷️: @highinmiamiii @potatobeans99 @mediocredreams @joshlmbrt @eddiesxangel @enam3l @mmunson86 @davidblowies-blog @thatissonnina @oskea93 @aurora-austen @lesservillain @madeofmunson @bloodibambiidoll @eddiesghxst @munsonssweets @nailbatanddungeon @swiss-mrs @winchester-angel @belokhvostikova @curlyjoequinn @strangereads @marrowfrog00 @shadyunknowncreation @tuolcaniacoc @catherinnn @prestinalove @pleuviors @cinemabean @calumfmu @littlexdeaths @let-the-music-take-c0ntrol @meetmeatyourworst @b-irock @spencerssatchel @yes2476 @comeonatmebruh @bendoverncry @only4wakingup @wiltinglovers @sweetsweetjellybean @fromasgardandback @r4fe-cam3ron

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abyssruler · 2 years ago

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furina’s guide on the art of matchmaking

neuvillette x gn!reader

it’s no secret that furina is constantly bored of the mundanity that comes with court, but with the recent discovery of neuvillette’s crush on you, things have just gotten a lot more interesting. if only you and neuvillette would just get together, but alas, it comes down to the great hydro archon to bring justice to neuvillette’s sad, pathetic love life.

furina pov, comedy, furina being dramatic as hell

Furina knows the best way to get under Neuvillette’s skin is through you. The Iudex may seem impassive from the outside, but she knows where to look for his tells, particularly when he’s annoyed (she has, after all, been the recipient to silently judging stares, usually those of a disappointed or even irritated nature).

And she’s seen the way Neuvillette looks at you—his face softening, an almost imperceptible smile on his lips, and most damningly of all, the slightest hint of a blush whenever you stare into his eyes a little too long to be considered proper.

It’s all so entertaining to watch, if a bit miffing to endure seeing how utterly slow the two of you are. If Furina had been in Neuvillette’s shoes, she would have long since enacted a performance grander than anything Fontaine has ever seen and asked you out on a date. Not just any date though, no, she would have to pull an all-nighter to come up with the best date there is. One does not simply go on a date with the God of Justice and have it be mediocre.

But all that aside, with how boring Neuvillette is with his stricter than strict rules and views on how one must go about their day, it falls upon her to make sure he doesn’t die as a decrepit old bachelor who’s never felt the touch of another person intimately. (Not that Furina had any say on the topic of intimacy, seeing as she’s never had any experience in the romantic aspects of life, but experience means nothing compared to the wisdom of the God of Justice!)

So, after many nights spent huddled beneath her blankets, scribbling on her notebook and brainstorming the best way to get a rise out of Neuvillette, she happened upon a breakthrough. An idea so great it would not only be something worthy of the Steambird’s headlines, but also be something the people of Fonatine would speak of for years to come.

Yes, it all comes down to this very moment, standing over the highest place in the opera with hundreds of eyes watching her as she points an accusing finger at your figure standing on the very stage she’s set up.

Neuvillette watches it all with his eyes narrowed at her, hands clasped tightly around his cane, and Furina would have loved to relish in that reaction, but alas, she must continue with her script.

With a haughty smile, she meets your eyes as she yells out loud to her captivated audience.

“I charge you, (Y/N), with the crime of theft!”

The people below gasp in shock at the sudden accusation. Only natural, of course. You, an esteemed person of reputable background who most people view as a kind person, being charged with theft? How scandalous!

But that’s not all!

“You stand accused of thievery,” Furina pauses for a dramatic effect, feeling the spectators hold their breaths as they await her final verdict.

She then looks up at Neuvillette, and it takes all she has in her not to burst in hysterics at the comically pinched face he’s sporting. She moves her finger from you to Neuvillette, practically preening in place as the assembled crowd below let out varying expressions of shock.

And with a smug smile, she deals the final blow.

“For stealing the Chief Justice of Fontaine’s heart!”

One, two, three—

Screams erupt from below. Women squealing in delight while the men cheer at the sudden twist from accusation to romance.

Furina basks in the attention as the people sing praises of her.

“Of course, how could not I have seen it before?”

“Lady Furina is so sharp to have caught on!”

“Monsieur Neuvillette and (Y/N) do make a good pair, don’t they?”

“How ingenious! As expected of our Lady Furina!”

But then, Neuvillette stands, a stern look on his face as he taps his cane on the ground hard enough to rattle her eardrums.

“Order!”

His face could have been made from stone with how hard he’s looking at her. If looks could kill, she’d be dead on the spot. Yikes! Perhaps it’s time to make a swift escape…

“Lady Furina, might I remind you that charges and accusations are not to be made lightly within the court. To abuse your position in order to make a ridiculous statement. I…”

With every word that leaves his mouth, Furina slowly begins to feel that perhaps she’d been too hasty in thinking that all would turn out well. And oh, maybe she should have thought up of scenarios and what-to-dos after she finished performing her grand plan, but in her defense, she’d been too excited at the prospect of finally pushing you two together that it completely slipped her mind!

Is it too late to claim it was all an elaborate performance not meant to be taken seriously?

Neuvillette stares thunderously up at her.

She’ll take that as a no, then.

Just when all hope seemed to have been lost, a savior comes in the form of you raising your hand.

Neuvillette immediately stops speaking in favor of addressing you.

“Would the accused like to defend their innocence?”

You take a deep breath, gaze briefly flitting to Furina’s before meeting Neuvillette’s. And even without much prompt, from that single glance alone, she knew she was about to witness something extremely entertaining.

“I… I would like to press charges as well,” you say evenly, and for a second, Furina’s heart drops as she thinks you’re about to charge her for false accusations and perhaps even slander, (the first time in history that anyone has charged the God of Justice for a crime!) but then, you continue—

“I would like to press charges against you, Monsieur Neuvillette, for stealing my heart too.”

Your statement is followed by a stunned silence that only lasts for a brief moment, before it’s overcome by exclamations and whoops at the sudden turn of events.

Furina falls back on her seat and howls with laughter as she watches Neuvillette be struck speechless, red creeping up his cheeks as your statement echoes across the cavernous hall. She reminds herself to gift you something extravagant for saving her at the very last moment.

Ah, what a delightful way to end the show.

She watches you direct a besotted smile towards Neuvillette. Another day, another poor sod saved from the horrors of a nonexistent love life.

Furina mentally pats herself on the back for a job well done.

#furina: another day another slay #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #neuvillette x reader #genshin neuvillette x reader #gn reader #furina #focalors

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oikarma · 5 months ago

Text

number one girl

pairing: max verstappen x reader

summary: the story of ynmax is a very, very heated topic riddled with holes and chock full of conspiracies: a couple and split to rival brocedes. it's mostly an a f1 thing, though, until you release an album and the internet tries to deduce what ruined a decades-long friendship.

a/n: angst warning. bear with me, you're in for a long ride. we go from twitter to insta to reddit to sdfsd. this was SO FUN!

part one / part two / part three

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by stevienicks, georgerussell63 and 3,104,827 others

yourinstagram: "number one girl" out now.

view all 411,295 comments

user1: mother??? music???

user2: our multitalented baby <3

stevienicks: so proud of you ❤️

yourinstagram: so thankful for you 🥺 your support is immeasurable in worth

user3: max verstappen did you-

user4: george listening to this so he can justify bullying max next season

user5: please 💀 i choked on my water reading that

user6: CHARLES IN THE CREDITS FOR PIANO?? how many side quests has this girl roped people into

user7: they're still good friends lol just cause she and max stopped speaking doesn't mean she's not close w the rest of the grid user8: @/user7 right! she and alex have also posted each other quite a bit after the rhode collab

user9: is no one talking about the lyrics 😃 gut wrenching, yes, but the way it all lines up w max??

user10: no babe dw we're all talking about the lyrics user11: my roman empire...

user12: who's this max guy and what does he have to do with my queen y/n

user13: @/user12 he's a formula one driver, they ued to be best friends user12: @/user13 like nascar? omg what i only knew that she debuted in shadow n bone but WHAT IS THIS

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

A PAGE FROM Y/N's JOURNAL November 15, 2021

Max is a plane right now to see Kelly. I feel like I've been punched, three times over. The nausea is getting to me.

How could you? Just say all those things, like you always do. Do you mean any of them? When you say "I love you, more than anyone in this life." When you say "You're worth it, really. "When you say "forever." Does anyone ever really mean forever? Forever is part of the foreseeable future. You cannot capture what is beyond that.

You were my life. The words, every moment. An inescapable reminder.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by charles_leclerc, brunomars and 2,819,305 others

yourinstagram: "toxic till the end (ft. lewis hamilton)" is up on youtube and all music platforms ♡

view all 309,418 comments

user1: what. the. fuck.

user2: is she dating lewis? what? y/n girl please stop being cryptic my head can't take all of this 😭

user3: if this is part of the press tour i must say i am now extremely invested in the ynmax drama and i didn't even know who max was until i saw a thread on number one girl...

lewishamilton: Best of luck with your future endeavors, Y/N 🫂 Will be by your side!

yourinstagram: you better be 🫰 user4: the friendship we didn't know we needed

user5: lewis with...pink hair...

user6: max emilian verstappen fumbled so hard

user7: imagine ghosting THE y/n l/n and then she drops this

user8: well, 4 years later but yeah user9: what even is a wdc...

user10: what does the heart mean y/n

user11: bro

user12: so i guess the harry styles dating rumors were all fake 😔 but omg lewis music!!

kellypiquet: Face and voice of an angel 😽

yourinstagram: me? please, pregnancy glow has been treating you good 💕 user13: at least they don't have any hard feelings...

user14: bruno in the likes is the most random thing ever

user15: acting career, check. singing career, check. formula one side quests??? multple checks

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by kellypiquet and 4,103,697 others

lewishamilton: Behind the scenes of Miss Y/N's "toxic till the end" music video

tagged: yourinstagram

yourinstagram: looking good there, lew

lewishamilton: Very kind of you to say user1: trust me we are witnessing the start of a great romance

user2: i don't want to delulu too hard but PLEASE tell me y/n's moved on with lewis it would be the ultimate baddie move

user3: imagine...you won abu dhabi but you lost the love of your life to the guy you beat 🤪 user4: we're all insane but i'm just going to keep dreaming

charles_leclerc: Why am I not in your dump?

yourinstagram: face card wasn't lethal enough user5: she's brutal 💀 user6: our charles's facecard could start wars idk what she's on

user7: daddy please give me ONE chance

user8: give me some of that maranello?? he looks so good oml

user9: focusing on music videos and not racing...no wonder he's washed

user10: @/user9 can you stfu and touch grass user11: @/user9 literally no one asked

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

AN UNSENT LETTER FROM MAX November 2021

Dear Hey, Y/N.

I realized you blocked me. It hurts. I don't know what to say or what to believe anymore. I miss us. Overstepping was the wrong choice, if you must, but going back is not impossible.

We've been friends for so long. Why can't you won't you try?

I miss you.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

r/Fauxmoi · 1 day ago hamilton7xc

Max Verstappen and Y/N L/N's infamous split explained?

feralonsos: So she's been pretending he led her on when she lead him on

parking23: I don't know anymore. I know nothing. Don't even talk to me.

forzamcqueen: I want to say it's not about YNMax but 21 (as in 21, when they split?) and Y/N has been coming out with music recently. When you look at the "number one girl" lyrics from Boy's perspective it lines up with this submission. That Max wanted reassurance from Y/N and she gave it to him, but she couldn't give him everything he needed.

↳ roses_berg: @/forzamcqueen I don't know...it seems kind of unlikely. Y/N has a lyric about "chasing the prize" or something like that. What prize would she be chasing? On the other hand, you have Max who has clearly said racing is his passion and he loves winning.

↳ forzamcqueen: @/roses_berg I see where you're coming from but there are a few interpretations. Toxic Till the End suggests she thought his attachment to her was maybe unhealthy, and he kept trying to find ways to keep her by his side. Y/N has mentioned in past interviews (promo for her role in Shadow and Bone, when she was starting to do acting) that she's had bad experience with past relationships and is hesitant on starting a new one.

↳ januaryblues11: @/forzamcqueen Sorry, what interview? Could you link it?

↳ forzamcqueen: @/januaryblues11 No worries, I put it down below. The part I'm referring to is around 5:41.

↳ WolffHornerFan: @/forzamcqueen Okay, okay. I need a timeline then. She must've started filming Shadow and Bone in Oct 2019, then wrapped 4 months later in Feb 2020. This might be the "prize" she's chasing? Her own career. Before it was announced that she was in the series most news referred to her as "close friend" or "best friend" of Max Verstappen. Now a lot of people know her for S&B or Top Gun Maverick, etc.

↳ CautiousOwl: Might've not wanted her relationship to overshadow her career. It's understandable, if she wanted to be taken seriously instead of a "nepo friend."

↳ 4norrisop: She's amazing in Shadow and Bone! Definitely recommend checking that out, but I don't understand why she ghosted him.

↳ ynluv07: @/4norrisop he was dating kelly at the time. she might've thought it was a bad idea after it happened (i'm referring to the kiss, which i assume happened because she explicitly refers to it a few times in "number one girl") and distanced herself. maybe she told him it wasn't okay?

↳ ICEMAN_bwoah: Brain hurts.

↳ brooksies: Well if she did give up her happiness because she thought Kelly deserved better, that's great. No wonder they're still on good terms.

↳ DauntingParrot91: @/brooksies Yeah, sure...

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

AN UNSENT LETTER FROM MAX January 2022

Y/N, I'm sorry I asked for too much; I'm sorry I pushed you. I'll take my bags and go quietly, this time. Maybe you'll open the door again someday. I love you too, my best friend always.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by lewishamilton, taylorswift and 4,103,269 others

yourinstagram: Burnout.

comments on this post have been limited

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

AN UNSENT LETTER FROM Y/N February 2022

Wish you'd take a little longer to pack up your bags. You're moving too fast. Make me want to hate you more than I hate myself, so I don't have to miss you. Make a mistake, please. So I have someone to blame.

Please, won't you stay a little longer? I would call you babe, just to make you smile. I wouldn't mean it that way, but I still love you. You're my best friend. Why wasn't that enough?

I'll be okay, sometime. You say it's written all over my face, and I wonder, what is? I'm fragile, now. I'm speechless, now. Don't leave me in pieces. I'm sorry, let me fix it. It won't be good for us, but oh-how I want to.

I'm already having trouble breathing. Please, stay a little longer. I can't stand these four walls without you inside them.

Come back, be here.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by kellypiquet and 1,249,805 others

maxverstappen: She stayed a little longer 🖤

tagged: kellypiquet

view all 91,432 comments

user1: GUYS HE DEF HEARD THE SONG

user2: do we think kelly asked him to post it

user3: tbf given on how sweet her n yns interactions are i wouldn't be surprised if she listened to burnout

user4: kelly. you are the strongest woman i know

user5: so i can convince you the minute i kiss you speak a little softer so i don't have to answer and make it okay before you can say

user6: i just know he had a little breakdown inside after he heard the album

user7: max rn: CHARLES HOW COULD YOU PLAY PIANO FOR HER

user8: max: alexa play that should be me user9: ho-olding your handdd

user10: who are we blaming today

user11: at least max is finally someone's number one girl

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

AN UNSENT LETTER FROM MAX Summer 2024

Sometimes I look to the television and you're on, flying a plane or wielding magic, whatever it is you do these days. I knew you could act. I knew you'd make it far. I hear you were nominated for a Golden Globe, too.

I was mad for a long time. I was upset you kicked me out of your life so abruptly.

Kelly's expecting. I think she will be as good a mother to our child as she is to little P. A family is what I have always wanted, you know. It was not what you wanted.

I am sorry. I have said that many times, but one day I will need to say it to your face. I am truly, irrevocably sorry for all the hurt I caused you, in the name of love.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

r/PopCultureChat · 1 day ago forzamcqueen

"Burnout" by Y/N L/N

How do we feel about the release of the full album? Moreover, how do we think it fits into the YNMax narrative? I, for one, have been listening non-stop trying to figure out the story.

lec_clerc16: I think it's funny how many people have gotten into F1 because of her music. Lol.

↳ NaturalOtter5: Well Lewis & Charles were on it so I would say the F1 community is pretty interested in the tea aswell.

↳ lec_clerc16: @/NaturalOtter5 Right, but YNMax is old drama. Sure, someone's posting in r/F1 every other week about an old photo or new quote. It's still been around for a while. This is fresh meat 😋

jennyowens1342: such a player...LOL who is gameboy about atp

↳ sassybanana: TBF Y/N's dating life has been a lot more quiet than Max's. There have been rumors but she hasn't hard launched anything. Maybe the one public "relationship" was enough for her.

museapollo: the more i listen the more convinced i am that y/n did not want the relationship as max did and decided it was best for them to stop being friends. the whole album is about a codependent relationship and the two people can't deal with leaving but they know it's better for both.

↳ janitorsclosetmonster: yess!! that's what i've been saying. we can't blame y/n for everything, it must've been confusing for her as well. having to navigate everything. idt she'd dated anyone at that point. max was her only close friend.

↳ EggplantParmesan713: But did max cheat...that's the real question. When did THE kiss happen? And who started it?

↳ museapollo: @/EggplantParmesan713 idk. i can't figure if she actually loved him (romantically) bcs it's clear he did but her side is a bit more hazy. you have: 1. "i just WANT it to be you" - it's not actually him she loves but she desperately wants it to be him 2. "cause even when i said it was over / you heard baby can you pull me in closer" - she's telling him it won't work out but he's not listening. 3. "please, won't you stay, stay a little a little longer, babe?" - she pauses before babe, like it's her trying to convince him to stay. mb she thought it was best to distance herself/end the friendship for a bit but she still loves him a lot because they've been friends for so long

↳ forzamcqueen: @/museapollo The best explanation I have heard so far. You can't force someone to love you the way you do. At least they've matured and moved on.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

January 2025

Dear Max:

Congratulations. I'm sure you will be a wonderful father, as I have always guessed. 2024 was a great year for you. I watched all a few of your races; you've still got it.

I'm putting out an album soon. I thought you should know. I already had a talk with Kelly, she's listened to some snippets and she likes it a lot. Some of the writing is about you the things I never said.

It was wonderful being your best friend. We had a good run, better than most.

Missing you Wish you the best, Y/N L/N

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

February 2025

Dear Y/N:

Occasionally, I think of all that could have been.

But we had many years together, and I will always cherish those moments.

Kelly loves the album, she puts it on while she cooks or does her makeup. P sings along in the car. She says she wants to go out for a tea party with you sometime. I listen to it even when they're out of the voice, for a reminder of your voice. You've made quite a name for yourself. I'm sorry I couldn't be there by your side.

Thank you for writing it. There are some things that you have to hear once, just for yourself.

Love Always Yours, Max Verstappen

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

what did you think?? i might do a part 2 of yn & max talking for the first time in forever but i wanna know if you guys liked this one first LOL

#formula one #max verstappen x reader #formula one x reader #f1 #f1 x you #max verstappen #f1 smau #smau #x reader #rose #oikarma ᯓᡣ𐭩

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